The Beauty of the Lord

Clang, clash, shing! A battle was raging inside. Bodily, I was cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by devotionals, journals, and Bibles, but my spirit was somewhere else, breathing hard. The warrior me was sweating. The sitting me could only let something wet trickle down my face. The armor clad figure was grunting and lunging and twisting. The still shape only whispered… to Jesus.


Perhaps you have had times such as these. Times where you feel like a slow tear is shredding its way down your soul. The moments feel long…dark…hopelessly solitary. This is when your battle tactic is important, either pointing to the victory of faith or the defeat of doubt. What do you do when you are caught in the overflow of your feelings? What happens when those feelings are telling you that the pursuit holiness is too uncomfortable? That the fight is not worth it or that you are not worth it?


Here is the truth: God gave us our feelings but our feelings are not God. Our feelings can be thermometers that things are amiss but the moment our feelings draw us away from God’s truth we must abandon all thought of them with lightning speed. Carolyn Mahaney has a worthwhile principle: “Talk to yourself, don’t listen to yourself.” Truth happens outside of us therefore we must remind (or “talk”) the truth of the Gospel to ourselves every day.

When the thermometer is broken, don’t use it to tell how hot it is.

As I sat on the floor of my room, I meditated, parked, and just camped out on Psalm 94: 19. I “talked” it to myself, calling to mind this and other truths of Scripture. Verse 19 says:

“In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.”

I must admit that when I rose from the floor, stacked my books, and left my room, I did not feel victorious. In fact, my feelings told me I was a loser. Yet ever so slowly, almost undiscernibly, a peace came tricking in. Suddenly, I realized I had a quiet heart that “surpassed all understanding.” It was utterly obvious that it had not been manufactured by me or my own resources. The reassurance came after the truth had been prioritized.

Here are some things I learned:

God's Word tells the temperature better than any human resource. If there is a fever, let Him who is called the Great Physician fix it.

Are you wresting in your heart this day? Does your soul feel feverish? “Be still and know that He is God” and let “His comforts delight your soul!”