Tuesday, August 10, 2010

A Prayer of Longing

One of my new "favorite friends" whom I am getting better acquainted with during my morning devotions is The Valley Of Vision.  What a gem of a book it is!  It is not uncommon for my soul to be both smitten and comforted when reading these prayers of the puritans who lived so long ago.  

Several weeks ago, I was struggling to trust the Lord over a particular issue...the issue of where I am in my life journey.  I would generally consider myself contented with the lot God has so graciously given me, yet this particular week I felt burdened with unbelief at God's promises. I read God's Word and prayed back the Scripture I  had been memorizing.  The sincerely of heart just wasn't there.  It wasn't coming from within me.

So I wrote out a prayer, my own psalm of sorts.   This undertaking proved to be such a release for me.  A release to rest.

All of the prayers in The Valley Of Vision have titles (which were given only for the convenience of publication).  At first it seemed like my own petition should be entitled " the Prayer of a Single Woman"  yet I realized the heart-cry of these lines transcends the specifics of circumstances and addresses the various situations of any longing.  You have my permission to print it up if you wish, cutting out the lines that don't apply and adding ones that do.  Soli Deo Gloria. 

Lord, forgive my sin of not trusting You for my future happiness and my sense of worth and value. Lord, in surrendering my fears to You I give up nothing but unhappiness, I loose naught but a restless spirit that is crippled to do Your Kingdom purposes. I am robbed of nothing except that which would pilfer my joy and sour my gratitude, making my life a stench. Thank You for this season in my life. Your seeming withholdings, Your “waits” are Divine gifts and opportunities.




It is not because you can’t,


Or that you aren’t good enough,


Or because my inadequacies or lack of the World’s measure of charm hinder You.


It is not because You delight in withholding good things from me


Nor that you are trying to taunt me.


It is not because you want to mock me or because You are angry with me.



It is because you love me.


Because You are carefully shifting and organizing the various pieces of circumstances, life goals and hearts to fulfill Your plan.


Because Your Kingdom purposes would not be as ripe as evident than if I had waited.


Because You wish to teach me that You are good.


Because You wish to show me Your sufficiency.



Because You desire that I come to You for the fulfillment of ALL my needs and longings.


Because You wish me to “acknowledge You” and not “lean on my own understanding.”


Because You want my heart to grow, to see the bigness of God and His care.


Because You want to teach me to rejoice with those who rejoice.


Because You desire that patience have it’s perfect work in me.


Because You want me to serve wholeheartedly in a capacity I would not otherwise be able to do.


Because you desire me to stay longer under my parents roof, in order that I might learn, serve and bless them specifically.


Because You want to teach me that the “Shalls” of Psalm 37 and other promises of the Bible are certain and true.


Because the lessons of today’s season are preparing me for the next and if I were to rush into that upcoming season I would be unfit for its tasks and for service.


Because You want me to worship.

Cathryn  2010

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Cathryn, You are wise beyond your years. Just keep on waiting and trusting HIM While reading this I couldn't help but think of Grandpa. He loved you gals so.
Love Grandma G

The Beauty of the Lord said...

Thank you Grandma! You just gave me what is probably the best advice ever... to keep waiting, trusting, leaning on Jesus!

Ah, I have so many memories of Grandpa! :) He sure put up with the 3 or us little chickies running around him asking if we could "squeak Pete" the hearing aid. Boy that must have hurt his ears! I am very blessed. :)

XOXO

Anonymous said...

Oh C...that is beautiful. I was reading today an illustration about a cocoon...if you pull a butterfly out too soon it won't be able to fly but will crawl its life away. I will pray that the Lord will bring you out of your cocoon in His perfect timing. But, until that time, it is apparent to me that he is forming an amazingly beautiful butterfly, who will soar to the glory of God.
Love, T

The Beauty of the Lord said...

Thank you T. You are kind and such a sweet friend. :)